We have been non stop for the past few weeks and it is really mentally exhausting. We have had a few awesome weekends in September and October...going to Houston for the Angels vs. Astros game and then to Notre Dame to tell our story and back to Houston to get Wyatt's deer mount. But all good things came to an end in September. The day after our Notre Dame trip Wyatt had a terrible day at school. I picked him up that day and he was in a full panic attack. I said to myself he was not returning to school and I was going to home school him for the rest of the semester. Yes it was a knee jerk reaction but you can't imagine seeing your child broken and not be able to fix it. He could not breathe, he was shaking, crying hysterically, and his lips and hands were numb. All I could do was hug him and make a swooshing sound in his ear like when he was an infant with colic. He did eventually calm down and we were able to get home and decompress. It took him 2 days to get back to himself.
Why did it get this bad you ask...so many variables but it comes down to his brain and how he processes situations. Something said to him others would brushed off actually fuels the fire and once that happens everything makes it worse. Think of how you feel when you just need time to yourself but instead you are surrounded by people saying it's ok or calm down or "we have bent over backwards for you Wyatt". It was a raging forest fire when I picked him up and all I wanted to do was protect him. As so many already know everyday I drop him off with a knot in my stomach and wait for a phone call and 2 months into school I continue to feel like this everyday. We have had multiple meetings to make sure everyone understood our feelings and how upset we were with the situation. I kept him home for a week until everything was figured out (well hopefully figured out).
We called an IEP meeting (Individualized Education Plan meeting) where his teachers, sped teacher, counselor, and administrator were in attendance. We were honest with our expectations of how we wanted Wyatt treated and what should be done to help him during the day. They agreed (some more than others) and actually came to the meeting with their own plan to help with his day. So starting tomorrow Wyatt will go into school late so he can rest longer before starting his school day. He will have a different schedule and actually have 1 online. We are hoping this will help with some of the overstimulation and personality conflicts. We all agreed that removing a class from his schedule going forward will help too. That will start in January. He was on track to graduate next year but we felt that slowing it down would help with the frustration and he could graduated with his friends.
I know that life is hard when Wyatt gets frustrated. It is overwhelming for myself and Patrick. We deal with it most days of the week...even though our love is unconditional it is still hard to keep our cool and not fuel the fire. It's easy to fall into the "it's ok", "calm down", "it's not that big of a deal" way of addressing his frustration but to put the fire out he needs space and to be removed from the situation. So as we help Wyatt understand these things himself, we continue to remind each other of how to put out the fire. So as we prepare for this new chapter of school I am reminding myself to support the teachers and Wyatt as we all know change is hard for him even if it is a change we are hoping will make his life better.
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