I have been told more than once that I’m the mean mom in the neighborhood. Apparently I am the mom who tells Wynston he has to come in the earliest, he can’t go to the park, or he can’t go to Sonic on his bike with friends. But over the past year I have really tried to start trusting Wynston more and allowing him to do more things within reason, but still in his eyes he gets told no the most. I can only imagine the amount of times I will get asked this summer: can I stay out later? Can I go fishing in the big ditch a mile away? Can we go swimming while you are not home? Well the answer is definitely no to swimming alone, but the other ones I am really going to try to give Wynston a little more rope this summer. Not enough rope to hang himself but enough to be able to play a little jump rope and experience more independence.
I am enjoying watching the boys figure out what they plan to do for the next 10 weeks. Unfortunately I did not make plans besides a doctor’s appointment in FL and then a family vacation at the end of the summer. I realized this in May when the camps were already full. I know there is a reason that he won’t be going to the camp we looked into and that all muscular dystrophy camps are cancelled and I just have to figure it out. Maybe it is just for the boys to have more time with each other and myself at home, or more time he can go to his grandparents house and see his cousins. I guess we will see. So when I told Wynston that the particular camp was full he said ,”It's ok...I want to be outside and be with my friends anyway. I know I will definitely go next year.“ So now I have to prepare myself for the constant requests of: Can I go to XYZ? Can I stay out later than 6? I think just writing this is helping me prepare myself for the constant requests and to be ready to give him a little more independence and trust.
Those times when Wynston tells me that he and his friends think I am the “mean mom in the neighborhood” kind of makes me laugh now. You know all the books say: your kids will appreciate the rules in the long run because they will realize you did it because you cared about them. But I can tell you NO ONE likes to be called names, even at 41 years old! It does make me question why Patrick and I have some of the rules we have and I realized it’s because we don’t ever want anything to happen to him. We live in a wonderful neighborhood with lots of kids, a park, a swimming club down the street with ponds and ditches to fish all around the neighborhood. I truly don’t think anything will happen to him but sometimes my mind wanders and I think: what if something terrible happens to him and then God forbid DMD takes Wyatt. I just don’t know what I would do. I KNOW this is crazy to think and that all kids need their independence, their time to grow up and spread their wings but every once in a while I just want to keep him close and safe at home with me.
I realize that most of Wynston’s friends have older siblings and therefore their parents have learned how to let go a little more. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, Wyatt never pushed the limits because he never has been able, so I am not prepared to just let Wynston go as easily as he would like me to. I have made a promise to him and to myself that I will slowly start letting him do more things but he knows that if he lies or pushes me too far that is the end of the rope LOL. So I will let him go with his friends to the pool and fishing in the neighborhood with the understanding that chores need to be done first and that he must touch base every hour. So far so good! I know this extra independence will allow him to become more confident in himself and know that he can ask and that the answer isn’t always No.
I look forward to a fun summer full of adventure and opportunities for Wynston to spread his wings. I can’t believe he will be 12 in less than a month. Loving a child is hard and letting them grow up is even harder but I am excited to watch him become a young man.
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