As we all have routines and have come to depend on them, today proved that theory correct. Since the 2020-2021 school year started, I have helped Wyatt with e-learning, driven carpool for Wynston, worked my own job, completed normal household duties and tried to carve out time for myself. Today started with a frantic text to the other carpool moms wondering if I was supposed to drive the boys to school...and as you can guess it was my morning. I then got home and decided I needed to get a run in for the day because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to fit it in any other time. I’m not fast and so instead of it being a way to clear my head it became a burden to get home in time to wake Wyatt up and get him ready for the day. I wake Wyatt up and of course he wants to take a shower and have his triple breakfast and so then it becomes rush rush rush to get to the endocrinologist.
Luckily we got to the appointment in time, the doctor and I talked about Wyatt’s testosterone treatment and bone health and all the other thoughts on Wyatt’s progression. She then completed Wyatt’s assessment, checking his testicles and the rest of his body to see how his treatment was going. She ordered labs and tests and we were able to leave.
Well, on the way home Wyatt began to voice frustration about going to the doctor and how it is so late to start school. I knew what he was thinking...It’s not my normal routine. Upon his request we started school immediately when we arrived home. I could tell Wyatt just was not himself from the get-go...I yelled and then felt badly, I offered breaks and food but it didn’t help and then finally I asked if it was about the appointment and what the physician had to do to determine the next step in treatment...he broke down into tears and then so did I. I apologized because I didn’t follow our normal routine prior to going to the doctor. I felt so terribly I had not prepared him as I normally would have that our clinic visit routine was out of sorts. He told me it was not my fault but I still felt horrible about it. You see Wyatt is one of those kids who thrives on routine. If anything is changed he can’t function like normal. He is quickly frustrated and shuts down. We have explained this to pretty much everyone in Wyatt’s life...family, friends, teachers, etc. We all know that change is inevitable but this was something I could have/should have done but I was out of my routine and it showed. I hate getting so frustrated with him and then frustrated with myself. It is these times I try to be an example and explain that even though we are out of routine and out of sorts, we need to give ourselves some grace and try to see the other’s perspective and use our strategies to get back on track.
After hugs and tears we ended on a great note: he finished school work, I finished my work and I even had time to do a little yoga before carpool. Sometimes all it takes is recognizing the break in routine and then getting back on the track of our normal routine and trudge on.
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