A friend told me, "thank you for always being here and for just being you," and it really had me reflect on who I am and how I got here.
I do wonder what kind of person I would be if I didn’t have a special needs son. I wonder if I would live life like there is no tomorrow. I wonder if I would be as patient or as empathetic as I am. I wonder if I would be as good of a friend to those who have joined us in our journey.
It’s hard sometimes to open up our arms and hearts to let others in because Duchenne is not for the faint of heart. It rears its ugly head in public with frustration and curse words and yelling and throwing things. Not everyone can stand by your side when this happens instead some walk away embarrassed and wondering why we are the way we are. We are truly lucky to have a close knit group of friends who grab our hands and keep us going.
I'm thankful that I have now become the mom who climbs in bed with the boys and listens to everything they say about their day (Well most of the time, I’m definitely not perfect). I am told to look at Wrigley 100 times a day by Wyatt and guess what I dot it because I never want to not hear him say that. I am up and down constantly because Wyatt can’t be. Though I get frustrated at times I’m thankful that he is still here doing well enough to call for me to get his controller or fix his covers 10 times a day.
I wonder if DMD didn’t enter my world what I would say if I saw all the holes and scratches on my walls. But because of who I have become I ask what frustrated him that time and because he can't always express his feelings it he threw something. . I don’t does that make me complicit or just a mom who has worked so hard to understand and be emotionally understanding of what he goes through. I am thankful that I have becoming more understanding to the hard times.
I am thankful for the mom I am to Wynston. Sometimes I wonder if I give him everything he needs but I know that I sure as hell try. He is so smart and strong but still so loving, caring and likes to be hugged. Would I still remind him to pack things or take his medicine, probably because my mom was like that and still is. But sometimes I wonder because others say he shouldn’t need you to help him but I can’t imagine being the brother of a DMD boy who has always needed help. It’s a way to show how much I love him just as much.
As we move into Thanksgiving week and the holidays, I'm going to be thankful for the woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister
and friend I have become because I surely wouldn't change the people in my life to become someone different.
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