Lately after Wynston heads off to school I take a walk and listen to a book. It’s just a little time for myself to relax and enjoy the beautiful weather and nature before the day really starts. Honestly, I enjoy reading a real paper book more but that doesn’t happen for me til the summer while I am sitting by the pool or at our camp...just too much going on during the school year. So after my best friend and husband told me that they absolutely LOVE being able to “read” books while doing other things I finally tried listening to books and to be honest it was pretty awesome.
The first book I bought that spoke to my soul was the one that is on the cover of my blog. I am not sure if you even noticed there was a book on the cover but anyways it’s titled Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Initially when Patrick noticed it he asked me if I ever read it and I said, “no” but figured since it is on my blog cover I definitely should read it. Wow I was so happy I did and I totally recommend it. I won’t give you a summary of it but I will tell you that it changed the way I look at my life, my marriage, my friendships and the way I parent. All of that in 1 book. It just blows my mind how something so small like a generic picture that I picked for my page spoke to me….and said read me I will change your life. I call that the Universe speaking to me.
After finishing that book I decided why not find another one. The next book is titled The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I have heard others talk about their love language but I never really understood what they were talking about. As I am sure you can guess the book goes through the five ways people feel and show love and that many times the way someone shows love does not match the way a person feels love. I took the time during my walks to reflect on this, not only with my marriage to Patrick but also the way I show love to my boys. They are each so different in the way they receive and feel loved. I decided over the next few months that I am going to really take time to figure out my guys’ love language and make sure to “speak” that to them as often as possible.
I told Patrick about the book and asked him to read it so we can then have our own “book club” and discuss what we think each others’ language is so we can make sure we are both fluent in one anothers language. I learned in the book, if we aren’t talking the right language it makes it harder to sustain a marriage, especially one that is going to be very challenged in the near future as Wyatt’s physical abilities start declining. It’s hard enough to make sure everyone is happy in the house but how nice would it be for everyone to feel the immense love I have for them in the language they feel the most loved.
Next, I talked to Wynston about it and realized that though I believed quality time was his love language I was totally wrong. He told me that he wants to be heard and told how much we support him and how proud we are of what he is able to do. So it seems words of affirmation is his love language. He has such a tender heart and I can see the change in him as I practice giving him these words. It’s not that I wasn’t supporting him before it just seems like I wasn’t telling him in a way that he understood how proud I am of him and the young man he is becoming. I will continue to work on this to make sure this is truly the way he feels the most love from me.
Wyatt on the other hand speaks 3 languages. After I told him about each of the languages he said, “well mom gifts just seems silly, how does that show me that you love me?” So I told him, obviously receiving gifts is not his primary love language. I went through the others and he said, “mom really all of the others make me feel so loved.” He then leaned over to me from his wheelchair and looked me straight in the eyes and said, “come here mommy...I love you SO much, you are the best mommy” and then gave me a huge hug. Who could complain with all of those ways to show me he loves me. Wyatt uses those 3 languages ALL of the time to show Patrick and I how much he loves us, I don’t have to be fluent in them to know he loves me.
So I will continue to challenge myself to figure out how to love these 3 guys in the way they will know and feel the love and to dare greatly and become a better me. I challenge you to read these books. I hope that they help you feel the love and help you to become a better person because who doesn’t want to be a better person...from the Universe.
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